who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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