just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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