yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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