3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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