I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
