I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
