apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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