STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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