I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
