are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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