brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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