The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
