hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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