you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
We talked him into tasing himself.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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