Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
