If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
pray to the hookup gods
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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