We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
