I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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