Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
