This girl is more easily done than said...
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Randomize
