trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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