I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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