Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
