I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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