so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
