I only kidnapped one of them. chill
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
