guys are not supposed to queef...right?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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