I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
