I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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