How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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