yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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