remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
