??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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