I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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