we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
