just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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