Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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