Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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