Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
