What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
