Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
