How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
