Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
