you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
