i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
