I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
No subtext here. People are naked.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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