They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize