she sounds like chewbacca in bed
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
try to milk me bitch
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