There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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