It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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