its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
