didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
