Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
