her facebook's as public as her vagina
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
