I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
