either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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