Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
