Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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